BreakingWay

A visit to the doctor went by great! Everything is ok with him and me! He’s developing right on schedule and now he has about 1100 grams. His head is down, which is also good. I’m happy now, I’m always happy to hear good news! Well, I just had to share that!

Btw. I am 28 weeks pregnant from tomorrow! I feel good, but so heavy, and I can’t believe how time flies. My little pumpkin is getting bigger and stronger. He’s got a really strong punch, I think he wants out so bad, he’s so curious Tomorrow I’m going to see my doctor and I can’t wait to see him! I hope everything is alright! 12 more weeks to go…

It’s been over a month since I wrote my last post, that’s too much! I have good and bad news. I’ll start with good. I saw the baby’s father, many times, and I am thrilled by the fact that he’s ok now. He has finally accepted things the way they are. He said he thought about us every single day and he loves us both. He felt his baby boy kicking and I must say I will never forget the look on his face. He was smiling like a child for ten minutes after. He is so nice to me now, we get along better than ever before. I guess we got to know each other a bit more now. I am glad for that. Well, I won’t go into details. The bad news is that he moved to another city today because of his work. It’s pretty far away, and neither of us wanted him to go but he has no choice. We will still see each other, of course, but not as nearly as often. I’m afraid he won’t even be here when I give birth, and that means so much to me. I cried surprisingly much when I said goodbye to him, silly me. It’s not like he’s going forever. Hormones are killing me, what can I do! But I could see it was hard for him too, he didn’t want to leave.

Enough about that! My sister went to work on a cruiser two days ago and she’ll work there for 6-8 months, so she’s not gonna be there either. It makes me so sad! I wish many things were different but that’s life, I have to deal with everything the best way I can. Eventually it will all be alright!

So much for now. I hope I’ll write soon again.

This is a good day for me! Twenty minutes ago I talked to the baby’s father (my ex). I couldn’t get to him for two months, and now he actually picked up the phone. I don’t know why, but frankly I don’t care! I’m just glad I talked to him. He is still having trouble with accepting that he’s going to be a father so soon. I already got scared he’s just gonna escape from all this and that my baby will never get to meet his daddy, but I feel better now. We agreed to meet next week. That will be quite a shock for him, he still hasn’t seen how big my belly is now. I can already see his reaction. It’s probably gonna be something like when he found out I’m pregnant: half an hour of grabbing his head! Well, I’m looking forward to that!

It’s summer now, school’s over, I have to rest a lot and therefore I’m doomed for boredom. Most of my friends are going to the seaside, but I can’t do even that. Temperatures are high, so I find comfort in ventilators. I borrowed some books in the library so I can educate myself a little bit more before this guy inside of me comes out and changes my world around even more than it has so far. I just have to prepare myself right and everything will be just fine (I wish!). The main thing I’m preparing myself for is a lot of moments of not being all right! Well, at least I will have this adorable, helpless, little creature that will cheer me up just by looking at me

I really can’t wait to see my son, his eyes, the shape of his nose, everything! But, on the
other hand I wish he could stay inside forever! Why not?! He enjoys it there, it’s warm, safe, comfortable, nobody bugs him and I am fine with it, I got used to it by now, he can stay there as much as he wants! The thought of birth annoys me. I know it’s gonna hurt 500 times more than I expect it to, no matter how much I expect! Why does something so good has to come in such a bad way? I guess that’s what everything with us people is like.

I have to go call my friends now and let them know I talked to him. Now finally when they ask me did I hear from him I can say I did. This night I can go to sleep calmly. Sweet dreams, everyone!