BreakingWay

This is a good day for me! Twenty minutes ago I talked to the baby’s father (my ex). I couldn’t get to him for two months, and now he actually picked up the phone. I don’t know why, but frankly I don’t care! I’m just glad I talked to him. He is still having trouble with accepting that he’s going to be a father so soon. I already got scared he’s just gonna escape from all this and that my baby will never get to meet his daddy, but I feel better now. We agreed to meet next week. That will be quite a shock for him, he still hasn’t seen how big my belly is now. I can already see his reaction. It’s probably gonna be something like when he found out I’m pregnant: half an hour of grabbing his head! Well, I’m looking forward to that!

It’s summer now, school’s over, I have to rest a lot and therefore I’m doomed for boredom. Most of my friends are going to the seaside, but I can’t do even that. Temperatures are high, so I find comfort in ventilators. I borrowed some books in the library so I can educate myself a little bit more before this guy inside of me comes out and turns my world around even more than it has so far. I just have to prepare myself right and everything will be just fine (I wish!). The main thing I’m preparing myself for is a lot of moments of not being all right! Well, at least I will have this adorable, helpless, little creature that will cheer me up just by looking at me

I really can’t wait to see my son, his eyes, the shape of his nose, everything! But, on the
other hand I wish he could stay inside forever! Why not?! He enjoys it there, it’s warm, safe, comfortable, nobody bugs him and I am fine with it, I got used to it by now, he can stay there as much as he wants! The thought of birth annoys me. I know it’s gonna hurt 500 times more than I expect it to, no matter how much I expect! Why does something so good has to come in such a bad way? I guess that’s what everything with us people is like.